Monday, August 2, 2010

Don't expect anything.

Instead of planning every action, of every moment, of every day in order to feel productive and ready and prepared, I will only plan what's necessary and leave the rest to the universe.
I will follow what makes sense right now, not what I think needs to happen in order to get to my place of peace at the end of the week. I will get there today.

Today, I chose to stay and sit and talk because I could.
I chose to enjoy the lull in the conversation instead of jumping to 'I better get going'- something we do when we feel discomfort. I didn't need to be anywhere- but there.
I stayed a little longer- I did whatever I felt just then.
I knew that I had an hour worth of traffic to sit through...
and normally I feel anxiety towards it, but today I accepted it.
I decided to be in the moment, in my car, listening to my music, with the windows rolled down.
Here's one of the songs that got me through that LA traffic 5 o'clock commute. Turn it up. Roll down the windows. Play the drums on your steering wheel like your life depends on it.

As I made these new, conscious choices today I noticed...I felt... different.
I felt creatively liberated, relaxed... I thought about myself, thought about what I am doing now in my life.. I felt less restricted.
I tried not to think about what might go wrong. I tried not to think about the future. Slow and purposeful. I thought about the events of the day, and the things I needed to do to be prepared, but i didn't spend so much time stressing about what could and would happen.
I can't predict the future-- there is no sense in even worrying about it.
Prepare for that moment, and then improvise the rest.
Be flexible. You have to be. Nothing is for sure and nothing will happen as you expect. Don't expect it to be anything. Just be.

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