Thursday, July 22, 2010

"Oooh! Project"

I have started a new project. This is one of my favorite things to do.
In exchange for creating videos for one of my marketing professors, I will own a Sony HD camera. :D
The first video is complete and was featured on our new management blog for Antioch, called the Antidote.

What do you think?

Antidotal Evidence: The Junk Food Tax from Atomic Tango on Vimeo.

Completing this video gave me a much needed sense of pride. I think sometimes (particularly after being unemployed for over a year) you need completion of a successful project to remind yourself of how great you are. (wow that didn't sound egotistical!) I guess I mean to say more humbly, that I had forgotten that I had skill and talent in some areas, and was starting to doubt myself. Seeing the finished product online made it hard to ignore that I was good at something.
I think this is normal. Unfortunately, I think some people doubt themselves for so long, and are so anxious about taking steps forward, that they stay in that area of self doubt for too long. Feeling unloved and unproductive can have detrimental effects!
Luckily, I have supportive, encouraging people around me. I like to think that I choose these people on purpose. I could just as easily choose self deprecating people who only fueled my negativity! These are all things I am becoming aware of on my path to self discovery, which is, of course, never ending. ;)

It may be a silly movie, but I think I relate to Cher in Clueless's attitude towards projects (Pismo Beach Disaster relief, hooking up her lonely teachers, making over her frumpy friend). They are necessary to our progression and development- however small or silly they may seem to others.
More thoughts and videos to come!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Running for Life

I'm gearing up for my second relay in October. This time I'll be running 15-20 miles in Vegas with my sister and friend Melia along for the ride. When I ran the relay in LA, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I figured this would motivate me to work out, plus it sounded like a novel opportunity. I like trying new things (this is one thing about me that I love).
Post relay, I was sore, sleepy, hungry, and injured- But-- inside, I felt a strange sense of pride and accomplishment that I had not felt since 2005. This was the same feeling that I felt after I directed my first music video. It was almost an out of body experience- like, did I just do that?
What a great feeling! To execute something challenging (mental or physical) is a reminder that truly, the sky is the limit. You'll never know what you are capable of until you attempt.
Sometimes, I end up accomplishing something that I never thought I'd dream up. I'll suddenly get inspired by something unique and that will take me down an entirely new path of learning.
If only I could get over the doubts and restrictions that are set in my mind that keep me from fulfilling my wildest dreams. Why not?
Self reflection has made me aware of some of the reasons for these restrictions in my mind. Most of the time, they are pointless.
So where to next? Will I have time to fulfill all my fantasies? Will I keep pushing for those most challenging dreams?
Another year and I have no regrets. That is the most liberating realization of my 27th birthday. Thank you Mikey for helping me to accept that.