Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Goodbye '09

This year.
This year was unlike any I have ever lived through.
One of reflection; on myself and everything around me.
After all that I have been, I am now here, at twenty-six years old, and I feel like a child learning about the world.
All that I was sure of, is now open- to possibilities, to randomness.
And some unusual things have become more sure to me. Some unexpected things.
I've been up and down, bored and busy. Inspired and dull, high and low.
But my life has opened up-
...or, perhaps, I have opened up.
Looking back, I am surprised.
Really surprised to feel okay with this year.
Because, this year, I became more me.
I began to learn more about the Reinel that I would like to be.
She is not here just yet, but she will be fully alive one day soon.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

it's quiet.

now that school is over, i realized that I haven't fully rested. Sure, I lounged around the last three days, but my mind was occupied with my job search, unemployment, scholarships, other little projects, getting together with family, gift giving, and making sure I'm taking care of those I need to take care of.
Another thing I have noticed is my boyfriend seems to be growing weary of his situation. All the while I complain and mull over my unemployment, he has been listening intently and never pushing any of his personal sentiments on me.
Sometimes I think he is emotionally perfect, but I have to remember that is not true. What is satisfying about this reflection is I see that I am trying to be a better companion. Every day, I find it more important. Not just to the relationship, but to my personal, emotional intelligence. I want him to tell me what he is feeling, but I know that if I don't push, it might come out later, more naturally, when he is ready. Those are always wonderful surprises for me-- when he confides in me his insecurities and fears.

We don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Will I get a call for another temp job that will hold me over for a day? Will I finally get an interview? Am I making the right choices to ensure the ideal future that I am dreaming about for myself?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Here comes Christmas!

Two weeks from Christmas and I am barely starting to think about it! This year, I do not have money to spend on gifts, so I am doing the last minute 'craft' idea that I can hopefully modify for everyone on my list.
I get a week to plan my financial future, a weekend with my friends at the Opera, and then a week at home before Xmas. Then, I may go up to San Francisco for New Years with my boyfriend. So far, my break sounds pretty great.
This will be time off fully appreciated, and which will rev me up for another quarter at Antioch!
Looking forward to spending time with my family and appreciating those things which being broke can't take away from me.

Me and my niece Hanna
Me and Makayla!! :)