its really really hard to put into words how i feel right now. it is something i have never experienced before. I am used to being active, to working, studying, moving. My days are so slow and uneventful, that I sleep more, and look forward to sleep in the hopes that tomorrow will be more exciting. I wish I could behave differently. I know that I can feel better if I just will it so. But it is not easy. It's easier to claim defeat. It's easier to feel unworthy. And of course, that only fuels the sentiment more. I know, I know.
So that is it. and I think the more I think about this, the more I try to come up with solutions.